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For Water that Heals Burns July 6, 2010

Filed under: Poem — chintanidesai @ 4:39 pm

This poem is dedicated to a burnt family I know. Although I doubt that you will ever experience love, I just want you to know that I feel for you and wish you, at the minimum, non-bitterness. May His love be enough to fill your empty cup.

***

Today, when I was dragged into the gas chamber of your anger

When flames shot out of your being and licked at mine

When your hurt tried to inflict wounds on me

I remembered the days I had burnt him

Today, I was healthy in mind, so I did not feel pain

I only tried to calm you and urged you to pray

I tried to reason, knowing it would not work,

But still using it as an expression of my peace towards you

I said your name over and over in an effort to soothe you

I tried to remember and re-create how quiet and patient he had been

From my space of tranquility, I sent waves to you

I still hope against hope that my words and feelings and responses

Have acted as balm, at least in part (although knowing us, I doubt it)

But today, I bow my head to him, asking for forgiveness

For the times I have done the same, especially when

Those times have destroyed his mind and cracked his love

And I fervently, selfishly pray to God

First, that I never do it again

Second, that I can touch the right button

That sends a gush of water to put out these flames

And third, that both you and I find peace

Amen

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The Divine Embrace July 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — chintanidesai @ 11:36 pm

Today, I learnt that when I need a hug, You will not just send an embrace but also an elevation. Thank You for being there for me, God. I love You and I can only bow my head in gratitude.

 

Taught by Your Love

Filed under: Poem — chintanidesai @ 2:50 pm

Your love taught me to feel,

To be unselfish, to consider, see another point of view.

Your love taught me to heal

Instead of further wound uncovered sores.

Your love taught me to hurt

Within; I have never felt this agony before.

Your love taught me to question.

My faith, my surrender shaken, the devil within reared its head.

Your love taught me to ignore

What is right and give in to and strengthen my mind.

Your love taught me security.

For the first time, I felt wrapped, safe, protected by a human.

Your love taught me to regret

That I did not listen, that I ventured out, that I loved and lost.
***

I wonder – did your love teach me… or destroy my Chances?

 

Freakin’ Blessed + Washed-out Crimson July 1, 2010

Filed under: Poem — chintanidesai @ 11:12 pm

If I sat to count the blessings in my life

And the sheer greatness of the people around me

I would want to dig a hole and bury myself

***

Every time I meet someone new

I wonder why I cannot be with you

Have you ever ‘heard’ a heart melt

Writhe and twist, crumble, wonder?

Take a look at mine,

It is all shades of washed-out crimson

The sigh that catches in my throat

And cannot come out – it’s not allowed to